JabberWocky!

This is a very serious subject today because it deals with your health, more specifically, your mental health, This is a self test, with a few simple questions, to see if you are loosing your mind and more importantly, if you can find it!!

Now if you are like me, you might want to put a BIG NOTE, in a couple of places, to remind you to take the test, I tend to be a little forgetful once in a while; I put my couple of notes on my computer, refrigerator, television, bathroom door, kitchen door, front door, back door, windshield of my car, closet door, stuffed in my bra, pinned to my blouse and anywhere else I might find myself in the next 30 seconds, because that is how long it takes me to forget!

Now if you answer “yes” to one of these questions, you probably just forgot that one tiny thing for a minute, no problem!

2 “yes”: start trying to concentrate a little more!
3 “yes”: you’re probably under a little too much stress, start taking it a little easier!
4 “yes”: maybe you should make an appointment with the doctor!
5 “yes”: maybe you should make an appointment with “Belview”, “BelView”, “Bell View”?? Who cares, you’ve already forgot where the phone is!
6 “yes”: or more: forget it, because you already have!

My score, I am sorry to say, was not very good, I answered every one of these question “yes”, but it didn’t matter too much, because I forgot why I took the test!

Now, No Cheating;

Ready?

Begin!

1. You can’t reemembemr what you were going to blog about…it was there, in your memory, a minute ago!
2. You can’t remembre where you put your glasses…they are hanging around your neck, stupid, that’s what you bought the eye glass chain for!You can’t reembermbr why you bought the eye glass chain! Eye Glasses? What’s that? Do I need that?
3. You can’t rembeerrer where you put the sandwich for lunch…Oh, of course, it’s in the dryer, Good thing you didn’t put it in the washer, it might get wet and you know how you hate soggy bread!
4. You can’t rmenmber where you put the clothes, Oh, of course, they are in the refrigerator to cool them off, it’s been so warm today, -7!
5. You can’t rmbember where you put the sponge to wash the dishes, you were just using it, now where could it be? Oh, of course, it’s in the dryer on top of the sandwich you made for lunch, now you have to turn the dryer on “high” to get the bread dry before lunch, you know how you hate soggy bread!
6. You don’t rememmmber where you put “Teddy”, (the dog, you think)! Oh yeah, you let him outside!
7. You can’t rmenber where you put “HeeShee”, (the cat from hell)! Oh, who cares? You were going to ship him overseas to HDW anyway!! Oh, of course, you made 2 cat stew a couple of days ago, no wonder it’s been so quiet recently!
8. You can’t remembber where you put the dog and the cat, Oh that’s right, it was raining, so you put them in the dryer, they are now dryer riding with the sandwich and dish sponge to dry off!
9. You look at the person sitting across the table from you and you know they look so familiar, but you just can’t place them, Oh,of course, you married them 20 years ago, well, that’s ok, a person can’t be expected to rembbember every person they meet!
10. You keep repeating & talking to yourself, not just today, but all the time! Well, that’s ok, at least you get the right answers!
11. You can’t rmemmberr how to spell reememmmbeer!
12. You can’t reemembeer what you were just doing, Oh, of course, taking a test, but what was that for again?

If you are like me and answered “yes” to all of these questions, I wouldn’t worry too much, I have all of these things happen to me every day, before breakfast and look at me, I’m doing just fine! You probably just have an acute case of…

In 1994 I decided to pack my bags and move to Holland, a choice I still question only rarely to this day. I boarded the plane and flew my 10 hours, drove another hour to what would become my home until this day.

I had always Loved flying with a passion and always looked forward to my trips, the plane rides especially, soaring with the birds up in the clouds. But enough of that, I have yet again gotten off of the subject!

I got to my new home, the three story house featured in yesterdays cat fiasco, and to my delight, when I walked in, what would welcome me? A beautiful, shinny metallic blue, small motorcycle.

Oh, I could just feel the wind in my hair, and “soaring” down the street, like I had in the sky!

Well, to back track a little, I had never in my life been, what one might call, a “whiz kid” when it came to bikes, so whatever possessed me to think I could ride a motorcycle, I had never been very adept at it before, is still, to this day, beyond me! Give me anything with 4 or more wheels, I can drive it, no problem, but 2 wheels? I even lack the ability to balance on a little walk a straight line test, heaven forbid, 2 round moving, wheels! I don’t understand why we didn’t all come equipped with 4 legs, like my many furry friends!

Anyway, a couple of weeks down the road, I had already taken “the bike” out to the park and rode around a bit, feeling very lucky I did not end up in the fishing pond and I had even rode 2 or 3 miles to, what would become my doctor, to introduce myself and discuss the dope that I needed every month to survive, and did not even need stitches, after riding “the bike” over when I met him! This, I told myself, was a good thing, a real step up from the past!

“Things are going much better than they use to”, I remember saying to myself! So one day, after what I should have known, I couldn’t walk the straight line test, I decided to take “her” out and let her “rip”!!!!

“Stupid” is generally thought of by my friends as my middle name! But I wanted to “soar” with the birds, like I had, not so long ago when I came over here. I was feelin’ “suffocated”!! “cramped up in the house”, “need to feel the wind in my hair”, you might know that feeling!

So, I take “her”, (she had become known as “her” since I had come), to the front yard, a friend comes running out, “here, je helmut, je helmut”, (your helmet in Dutch), “noooo, I don’t need that”, I vaguely remember saying, “ik wil de wind in mijn haar”, (I want the wind in my hair, in Dutch)! So, I fire “her” up and I remember thinking, “oh this is going to be great, there aren’t too many people out, only the neighbor, a couple of doors down, in his yard, and a couple of guys across the street, working on a car, I can really let her rip”!

“Rip” I did! Up a few streets, down a few more and I thought, “well I guess I better get back, the “gang” will probably be worried about me”. Sure enough, just as I came around the corner, gunning it a bit to show just “how cool” I really was, I see the whole gang. In fact, there were quite a few “gangs” out, everyone had decided to get up out of bed and come out to enjoy the summer sun, since I had been away that short time!

I hopped “her” up on the sidewalk so I could pull into the gate and a guy, that I didn’t know, steps out in front of me, just one door from my house, but, I was almost home safe I remember thinking! I swerved to avoid him of course and in the process I hit the neighbors fence, went flying over it and fortunately for me I didn’t hit the ground, I “flew” about 20 feet and landed on top, eventually sliding down, a sticker bush!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I am just sooooo glad I didn’t hit the ground! Made it sooo much better!!

The bike, still out on the sidewalk, and I could not get up, out of the bushes! A couple of seconds later, here come my friends and a few neighbors, eyes wide in terror, thinking I was dead, and upon seeing me, branches and brambles, sticks, twigs, leaves, stickers, gum wrapers, take out food wrapers all in my hair, blouse, up my shorts, down my shorts, one shoe off, one shoe on, I was a mess, and “stuck” in more ways than one! “my friends” and neighbors started howling with laughter when they saw I would survive!

It took about 6 of them to pull me up and out of the sticker bush! I was cut to pieces, bleeding, hobbled home, pride really out the window, “with a little help from my friends”! Took an hour for them to get the stuff out of my hair, off my clothes, and unstuck from my body, still to this day, there is a dent in my gluteus maximus where a stick was stuck up, in, whatever!!

I remember my next door neighbor, who had already grown quite attached to me, telling “my friends” in Dutch, “how could you let her do that, you know how she is, she could have killed herself”!!

One of those “friends” had been in the air force over here, and a couple of weeks later, when he came to visit, he brought me a wonderful gift to remind me of the day, I “flew without a plane”, he brought me his “wings” that he had earned from the Dutch air force, telling me, “you learned how to fly the hard way, so you deserve these more than I do”! I still display my “wings” proudly and remember the day I “Earned my Wings WITHOUT a Plane”!

WARNING: “DO NOT Attempt to do this at Home, It Will be Hazardous to Your Health, Leave it to the Professionals!

You know you are going to have a bad day when:

You have a Rude Awakening!

That is just what I had this morning!

I am laying in my nice, warm, comfy bed at 4:00 this morning, (now this is late for me, as I generally get up around 2:00 in the a.m.), some people call it creative genius, I call it insomnia!

So anyway! I am laying there dreaming of me and, I can’t say who, he’s married, don’t you know! And all of a sudden my face is on the celling! Have you ever seen those cartoons where those cats are laying on their backs and one of their nemesis scares them and they jump to the celling and their hair sticks all out like they stuck their finger in a light socket? Well add a couple of feet more hair and you have me!

Some cat had come into the cat door and had gotten all of the way upstairs before HeeShee, my cat, noticed! I guess once he did notice, he also noticed I was late and he was hungry; what better way to get mommy up than show her what a good guard cat I am!

He has this, what use to be hairy cat, trapped upstairs, where he can not get out and obviously HeeShee has pulled out some hair, some hair, try the cat is half bald now! HORRIBLE BLOOD CURDING CAT SCREAMS, and I am on the celling!

This isn’t bad enough, but me in my flattened face, hair standing up, half asleep state, think, “some horrible cat is hurting my baby”, I start to run, forget the bedroom door is closed, run into that, thus my face is smashed more by now, finally get the door open, run out and almost fall down the stairs, before I realize they are only a couple of inches away from me and still none too happy!

Try breaking up a cat fight, they are almost as bad as a female cat fight! I finally get HeeShee held so the other cat can run down the stairs and out, hair just flying!! What does he or she do? Instead of running out the door, he or she gets confused and runs into the living room, HeeShee in tow, of course, and it all starts again!

I finally manage to get them separated, yet again, and the other half bald cat out the door!

HeeShee, in a split second, decides it’s not so bad and starts sweetly purring, like an ANGEL no less, at my legs for breakfast! What a D.C. he is! (D.C. is my nickname for HeeShee, you see he is not an Angel, like he would lead you to believe, the is actually the Devil’s Cat! Thus the nickname D.C.)!

To make a long story short, little too late for that now, isn’t it?

At least I know what I am having for dinner tonight, it’s a little dish that I am whipping up, called, “2 Cat Stew”! You are all invited, trust me, there will be plenty!

According to my friend HDW, this might amuse me; Amuse me I thought! More like run me completely out of my mind, and believe me, I don’t have too far to run for that! I think that this “friend” of mine just wanted to keep me busy doing something else so I wouldn’t have to bother him all of the time!

You see, I’m not the brightest bulb when it comes to computers! I must let you know that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing! I haven’t figured out how to fix the time on my profile, get a theme or plugins or any other “important” add ons I need yet!

So, off we go on this journey, together, to that great unknown future of…JabberWocky!

This one’s for you HDW, I don’t know whether to love you or hate you!