In 1994 I decided to pack my bags and move to Holland, a choice I still question only rarely to this day. I boarded the plane and flew my 10 hours, drove another hour to what would become my home until this day.
I had always Loved flying with a passion and always looked forward to my trips, the plane rides especially, soaring with the birds up in the clouds. But enough of that, I have yet again gotten off of the subject!
I got to my new home, the three story house featured in yesterdays cat fiasco, and to my delight, when I walked in, what would welcome me? A beautiful, shinny metallic blue, small motorcycle.
Oh, I could just feel the wind in my hair, and “soaring” down the street, like I had in the sky!
Well, to back track a little, I had never in my life been, what one might call, a “whiz kid” when it came to bikes, so whatever possessed me to think I could ride a motorcycle, I had never been very adept at it before, is still, to this day, beyond me! Give me anything with 4 or more wheels, I can drive it, no problem, but 2 wheels? I even lack the ability to balance on a little walk a straight line test, heaven forbid, 2 round moving, wheels! I don’t understand why we didn’t all come equipped with 4 legs, like my many furry friends!
Anyway, a couple of weeks down the road, I had already taken “the bike” out to the park and rode around a bit, feeling very lucky I did not end up in the fishing pond and I had even rode 2 or 3 miles to, what would become my doctor, to introduce myself and discuss the dope that I needed every month to survive, and did not even need stitches, after riding “the bike” over when I met him! This, I told myself, was a good thing, a real step up from the past!
“Things are going much better than they use to”, I remember saying to myself! So one day, after what I should have known, I couldn’t walk the straight line test, I decided to take “her” out and let her “rip”!!!!
“Stupid” is generally thought of by my friends as my middle name! But I wanted to “soar” with the birds, like I had, not so long ago when I came over here. I was feelin’ “suffocated”!! “cramped up in the house”, “need to feel the wind in my hair”, you might know that feeling!
So, I take “her”, (she had become known as “her” since I had come), to the front yard, a friend comes running out, “here, je helmut, je helmut”, (your helmet in Dutch), “noooo, I don’t need that”, I vaguely remember saying, “ik wil de wind in mijn haar”, (I want the wind in my hair, in Dutch)! So, I fire “her” up and I remember thinking, “oh this is going to be great, there aren’t too many people out, only the neighbor, a couple of doors down, in his yard, and a couple of guys across the street, working on a car, I can really let her rip”!
“Rip” I did! Up a few streets, down a few more and I thought, “well I guess I better get back, the “gang” will probably be worried about me”. Sure enough, just as I came around the corner, gunning it a bit to show just “how cool” I really was, I see the whole gang. In fact, there were quite a few “gangs” out, everyone had decided to get up out of bed and come out to enjoy the summer sun, since I had been away that short time!
I hopped “her” up on the sidewalk so I could pull into the gate and a guy, that I didn’t know, steps out in front of me, just one door from my house, but, I was almost home safe I remember thinking! I swerved to avoid him of course and in the process I hit the neighbors fence, went flying over it and fortunately for me I didn’t hit the ground, I “flew” about 20 feet and landed on top, eventually sliding down, a sticker bush!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I am just sooooo glad I didn’t hit the ground! Made it sooo much better!!
The bike, still out on the sidewalk, and I could not get up, out of the bushes! A couple of seconds later, here come my friends and a few neighbors, eyes wide in terror, thinking I was dead, and upon seeing me, branches and brambles, sticks, twigs, leaves, stickers, gum wrapers, take out food wrapers all in my hair, blouse, up my shorts, down my shorts, one shoe off, one shoe on, I was a mess, and “stuck” in more ways than one! “my friends” and neighbors started howling with laughter when they saw I would survive!
It took about 6 of them to pull me up and out of the sticker bush! I was cut to pieces, bleeding, hobbled home, pride really out the window, “with a little help from my friends”! Took an hour for them to get the stuff out of my hair, off my clothes, and unstuck from my body, still to this day, there is a dent in my gluteus maximus where a stick was stuck up, in, whatever!!
I remember my next door neighbor, who had already grown quite attached to me, telling “my friends” in Dutch, “how could you let her do that, you know how she is, she could have killed herself”!!
One of those “friends” had been in the air force over here, and a couple of weeks later, when he came to visit, he brought me a wonderful gift to remind me of the day, I “flew without a plane”, he brought me his “wings” that he had earned from the Dutch air force, telling me, “you learned how to fly the hard way, so you deserve these more than I do”! I still display my “wings” proudly and remember the day I “Earned my Wings WITHOUT a Plane”!
WARNING: “DO NOT Attempt to do this at Home, It Will be Hazardous to Your Health, Leave it to the Professionals!
